why I am making changes
When I Worked in an Office
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
Going to work after being a stay at home mom was devastating. I still had a little boy who wasn’t in school yet. Going back to work also required my kids to be dropped off at daycare each morning. Every morning I would drop the kids off and they would cling to my leg and cry for me to take them with me. I would put on a brave face hoping that they wouldn’t cry. I started crying each morning as soon as I shut the door to daycare and walked to my car. My commute was about twenty minutes after I dropped the kids off and I would cry the entire way. After the first day showing up to my new job with my mascara smudged under my eyes I made sure to bring my makeup with me and arrive 10 minutes early to fix it.
It was so crushing to let someone else spend that time with my kids and get paid when I was willing to spend ALL my time with them for free. I was working for pennies at a desk job to support my kids and pay my part of a divorce. I would sit at my desk and try to find something to occupy my thoughts, but I was unsuccessful; I was always thinking about my kids and wishing I was with them. The moment I walked in to daycare and their little arms wrapped around my neck I felt whole. I felt like I was complete again. And for the few hours between work and bedtime I could see the silver lining in my day.
While working for someone else I didn’t have flexibility. My time was not my own. My vacation days and sick days were saved for times when I had to take my children to appointments (you better believe that I made sure to get every single necessary appointment on the same day), if my kids were sick (I went to work sick, if the kids were sick they couldn’t go to daycare). I lost the ability to control what I did each day.
Having to leave children with others and losing control over time is why I am making the changes to the blog that I am making. I want to give all those with a side hustle, a main hustle, a hobby hustle a place to share and reach outside of their circle! Being an entrepreneur is working many hours without knowing if it will pay off. Everyone should get to be in control of their time and be able to provide for their family.
My why is: I don’t want to ever be in the position to have to work for someone else to provide the essentials for my family. My why is: I want to be with my children every day. My why is: I want to support everyone who is trying to make ends meet with what fulfills them.